The Mental Tug of War

I'm not going to speak for all epileptics but I am going to speak for myself and I noticed a pattern it is a constant mental tug of war. I want to be good at whatever I am doing so I get stuck at can I do this? Yes I can, can I do it well? I don't know and take a step back.

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Then things become seen as an obstacle in my perspective so I want to surpass it more and more everyday. Epilepsy is a continuous tug of war in my head because it buzzing no you can't, no you can't, no you can't, which makes me have a stronger backbone and drive to fight to say yes I can, yes I can, yes I can!

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Now it's time to take a step forward and handle the obstacle with flying colors. Something that is somewhat positive from epilepsy for me was to write things down and stay organized because it's easy to forget after any type of episode. I can reference what I was in the midst of doing.

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I am most at ease when I have a plan. If I can map out the situation, find a solution, I will pursue it. That mindset came from the epilepsy, I think it brings out the best and worst of me. Rough battles and plenty of battle wounds to show; results being I'll be able to look into the mirror and say Yes I did, the plan worked.